The landlady's husband came up to town today
  Since he left them both ten years ago to serve the ministry
  The dark down road of his approach in constant rain was drenched
  The tenant's boy said "How d'ya do" then swore in French
  Did you teach this little child these curses on my soul
  You should both be shut down in the coal-hole
  That's the way to treat a child who cries out in the night
  And a woman who teaches wrong from right
  Chorus: He's a Battered Old Bird
  And he's living up there
  There's a place where time stands still
  If you keep taking those little pink pills
  
  "Hush your mouth you hypocrite"
  His humour cut her deep
  The tight lipped leer of judgement
  That had seen her love desert her just like sleep
  "Filthy words on children's lips are better, my dear spouse
  Then if I were to speak my mind about this house"
  
  Chorus
  
  On the first floor there are two old maids
  Each one wishing that the other was afraid
  And next door to them is a man so mild
  'Til he chopped off the head of a visitor's child
  He danced upon the bonfire
  Swallowed sleeping pills like dreams
  With a bottle of sweet sherry that everything redeems
  
  Chorus
  
  And on the second floor is the Macintosh Man
  He's in his overcoats more than out of them
  And the typewriter's rattling all through the night
  He's burgundy for breakfast tight
  He says "One day I'll throw away all of my cares
  And it is always Christmas in a cupboard at the top of the stairs"
  
  Chorus
  
  "Well here's a boy if ever there was
  Who's going to do big things
  That's what they all say and that's how the trouble begins
  I've seen them rise and fall
  Been through their big deals and smalls
  He'd better have a dream that goes beyond four walls"
  You think he should be sent outside playing with the traffic
  When pieces of him are already scattered in the attic