Oh no, he's buying an island
  Oh no, he's building a boat
  Why does he never stop smiling?
  Fun surrounds him like a deep moat
  
  Where does he get all those stories?
  How can he tell such a lie?
  He's bound to see purgatory
  His views are in short supply
  
  But Peter Pan would understand
  His schemes and dreams and ploys
  Best keep an eye on his slight hand
  He such an altered boy
  
  Good God, he's talking with parrots
  Painting his dreams in the sand
  Piling up beaucoup demerits
  Doing it just 'cause he can
  
  By Jove he's having a cocoa
  Evading those judgmental eyes
  Calmly walking his tight rope
  High above all the outcries
  
  But Peter Pan would understand
  His schemes and dreams and ploys
  Best keep an eye on his slight hand
  He such an altered boy
  
  The story goes
  he stumbled at the alter
  Now it seems he just blasphemes
  And dwells with dangers daughter
  
  Someone call the talking doctor
  Somebody get a SWAT team
  There he sits getting away with murder
  How dare him live out his dreams
  
  But Peter Pan would understand
  His schemes and dreams and ploys
  Best keep an eye on his slight hand
  He such an altered boy
  
  Oh no, he's sailing today
  Oh no, beware Paraguay
  Oh no, anchors aweigh
  Oh no